A Quiet Christmas
by Behindthebook08
Summary: While the families are loudly celebrating Katniss and Haymitch have their own quiet Christmas moment. (Katniss/Haymitch - Heavy on the Friendship) Just a Christmasy One-Shot, I hope you enjoy! (Please review!)


**A/N: Another little one-shot in a wintery/holiday mood, it's been floating around my mind for weeks, so I thought I would share. Wishing you all a lovely Holiday (or day in general!) and I hope you enjoy. Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

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Haymitch Abernathy sits on his couch, staring out at the slowly drifting snowflakes, and enjoys a sip of his whiskey. He's given himself the gift of quality alcohol for a change, rather than whatever the dreck is that Sal always gives him. He's not a picky drinker, but that doesn't mean he can't taste the difference.

He groans when he hears a soft knock and makes his way to the door, who the hell would be visiting him today? He smiles slightly when he sees the snow covered woman shuffling her feet on his porch. She may be the face of the revolution to everyone else, but with him she is always just Katniss. Awkward, sarcastic, kind-hearted, Katniss. He could only pray that she wasn't here to drag him to her Christmas celebration next door. Smirking slightly at her shivering form he steps to the side and welcomes her in, "I didn't expect to see you today, sweetheart." She just raises an eyebrow and pushes her way through the door. Taking off her scarf and coat as she walks and laying them over a chair.

She sits heavily on his couch and takes a sip from the open bottle next to her, coughing slightly.

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, what is she doing here? "I suppose I should be wishing you a Merry Christmas," he mutters and she laughs.

"I would prefer if you didn't," she says with a slight smile. "But Merry Christmas to you too, seeing as I'm here."

He chuckles, "Not that I'm not flattered to find you on my doorstep, darling, but what are you doing here? Last I checked you had a whole brood of people in your house makin' merry. Why are you in this depressing dump?"

She shrugs blowing a stray bit of hair from her eyes. "I just—I don't know, I feel out of place there Haymitch."

He takes a seat in front of her and studies her for a moment, trying to get a grip on what he's dealing with here. She's finally started to gain back some of the weight she had lost, and her hair is at least brushed. She doesn't look quite as tired—but she still doesn't look like herself. She seems a bit lost and more than a bit unhappy.

After the war, once they had come back to twelve, he had cared for her for some time. She hadn't been in any shape to do it herself, and the rest of her family and friends hadn't bothered to touch her until she was "normal" again. So he had been old reliable Haymitch (who would have guessed?) and stepped up to the plate.

He couldn't say that he wasn't glad when she had finally come back to some form of sanity. He was able to return to his usual shut-in ways, and she spent time with her family and Peeta's. Even Gale from time to time. The world was as it was meant to be. Except she only ever really talked to him. When she was upset, or afraid, it was his door she knocked on, and he couldn't find it in himself to complain.

"Okay Katniss, tell me what's going on in that head of yours," he says finally and she looks at him from under her hair.

"Peeta…" she starts, "Peeta is a great guy, and I know he had to deal with his fair share during the war," he nods slightly, urging her to continue. "But after everything was over, he was able to just shake it off and return to the world. He bakes and decorates cakes, he even paints. His family loves him and has moved on."

"You're saying it like it's a bad thing, sweetheart."

"No! No, that's not what I mean at all!" she says hastily, combing her hair back nervously and chewing on her bottom lip. "It's just that I can't do that. I still have the nightmares, and the flashbacks. I still see their faces everywhere I turn and I'm still frightened by every noise I hear. And my family can't understand why I can't bounce back like Peeta. If Peeta is fine, why am I like this? My mother thinks it's because I spend so much time with you."

He snorts slightly, "Like I could influence you if I tried."

"Now it's Christmas, and I want to celebrate with them, I really do. I want it to be like it was. But every light is another bomb going off, and every song is the meadow song, and every time someone hugs me I want to pull out a knife. I just—I just want some quiet, and some peace, and when there are a dozen people in my house, I can't exactly get that." She sighs and lays her head on the table. "I'm a terrible person, Haymitch."

He laughs slightly, passing a hand over her hair, "You're not a terrible person Katniss. In fact, when it comes down to it, you're a better person."

She looks up carefully, "What do you mean?"

Haymitch takes a swig from his bottle and pauses for a moment, "Katniss, you can't get over everything that happened, because you really felt it all. You didn't just feel the parts that directly affected you—you felt everyone's pain. And you can't let go of it because you know people are still suffering, you know it isn't _really_ over. That may make you a bit crazy, but it also makes you a damn good person."

"But Peeta—"

"Peeta is a lovely boy, he really is. But he isn't _better_ than you, kitten. He's just handling things differently, and is able to forget. You and me? We don't forget anything—it makes us smart, and it helps us survive, but it doesn't make life any easier."

She sighs deeply and puts her head on his shoulder. "I really do wish I could just forget for a day, enjoy Christmas. Play in the snow, eat dinner, sing some carols, you know?"

He nods slightly and she closes her eyes for a moment. Suddenly she hears the slightest hint of a melody drifting into her ears and with a slight shock realizes that it's Haymitch, and that he is humming to her—it's an old Holiday song, her father once sang it to her. A song from before the rebellion, from before either of them. She smiles and hums along as he wraps an arm around her.

As their song ends she whispers, "thank you" and he kisses her forehead lightly.

"Anytime kitten," he replies.

"Haymitch?" she asks quietly, "Why didn't you come over for Christmas?"

He chuckles slightly, "Why are you at my house?" he asks sarcastically, "I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that much cheer in one go. A quiet day where no one is dying is enough of a holiday for me these days."

She nods, "Can I stay here with you?"

"Nothing would make me happier, sweetheart."

"Merry Christmas, Haymitch."

"Merry Christmas"

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**Thank you for reading!**


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